Self Improvement Discussion–When Good Isn’t Good Enough
Even though we all have success, why then is it easier to see failure or to perceive failure?
We all carry around an invisible measuring stick for success. What I may view as success may be different than what it is for you. Norms are created in our society that play into our feelings of success. For example in the world of running for a top female marathoner running an Olympic qualifying time may be great. However it may then be felt as failure when she misses out on the Olympic qualifying spot as Kara Goucher did in the last Summer Olympic cycle when she placed 4th. In my eyes and the eyes of most other runners her marathon time seems unimaginably fast and as though she is running with super powers. You have to wonder though how much success vs. failure she felt when the race was over.
As far as my own running goes I have run a 3:33.34 as my personal best marathon time which was good enough for a Boston Marathon qualifier in 2013 in the 35-49 Age group. When I ran it I was over the moon ecstatic but that elation has faded as years have passed. I continue to place huge amounts of pressure on myself to reach that peak again. Since I ran that time I haven’t been able to match it or break it. I know that the times that I run are good but sometimes they don’t feel good enough. Obviously this view is of my own making because all of the time goals are times that I have set for myself. In running I am racing against myself to achieve my own personal best. Comparing my achievements to that of others does nothing but to downgrade my excitement and in the end I prevents me from moving forward and running faster.
Why do we allow ourselves to feel that good isn’t good enough?
For me it is often that invisible measuring stick that I have created for myself. There are others who I compare myself to even though this is unhealthy and unproductive especially when it comes to running. We are all different and we all have different obstacles and strengths in our lives. I allow myself to become frustrated by others comments when even if meant to be harmless come off as a put down. Sometimes we encounter others who make it a point to comment in a negative way to diminish ones feeling of accomplishment. These types of comments should be given no weight. Even as an adult it is hard not to measure oneself up to others and to let it overshadow our own success. When you are competitive and you have goals it can be hard to reconcile with a finish time when it was not what you had hoped to run.
Is this a positive way to proceed?
I wonder if the people who are able to elevate their dreams to the next level are able to shed these feelings with these therefore opening themselves up to more and greater opportunities?
I want to be finished with this modus operandi. It is serving no positive purpose in my life.
I am planning to put my measuring stick away. I need to run my run and live my life how I direct it. I need to go for my goals but allow myself to be free from the feelings of failure and disappointment when the biggest success is going for the goal in the first place. The finish no matter how fast or what the outcome should be the cherry on top as long as you have worked your hardest, run your own race and given it your all.
I know that this has all probably been said before and that it sounds cliché but sometimes a reminder is needed.
I think I need to read some motivational and self-help books now. Ha! My husband has suggested I check out The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK by Mark Manson, first I need to get back to reading YOU ARE a BADASS How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life . . . I’ll let you know what great nuggets of wisdom I glean from these texts.
Now I challenge you to put away your measuring stick too and to begin your quest for your biggest dreams! Tell me what you’ve learned about yourself lately.