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I’m feeling alone. Tips for coping with loneliness during the holidays.

Tips for Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays
Tips for Coping with Loneliness During the Holidays

I am on a roller coaster.

Just when I am starting to feel better all of a sudden it feels like I am at the peak of the roller coaster tracks ready to plunge down the deep incline again into a darker place.

The holidays are upon us with Thanksgiving a few days away. It’s going to be strange this year. It’s my second year of divorce heading into the holidays and this year I am going to be without my kids. I am also not going to be with any family to celebrate all that we have to be thankful for which makes it just a little bit harder to find gratitude. I miss my family.

I admit I am feeling lonely. Loneliness is a weird emotion because you can feel lonely even when you are with other people. It is an empty hollow kind of feeling where you feel like you are just going through the motions of life.

I am not good at being alone. But this is one thing about divorce that I have had to get used to. Sometimes I don’t have your kids and there are times when I am alone in an empty house. It is so quiet. The feeling of loneliness quickly creeps in.

I am trying to cope. I am trying to be ok with it all.

Today however. I found myself crying on the phone with my mom. The tears flowing out of me. There was not stopping them from falling. It will be ok she reassured me. You have your friends to be on Thanksgiving with and you can always go and see your Uncle.

But despite her efforts the feelings of aloneness wrapped around me and squeezed me tightly.

Tips for coping with loneliness during the holidays #mentalhealth #wellness

What can you do to address this feeling if you are having it?

Tips to Help You Cope with Loneliness

  • Acknowledge and embrace the feeling-It is ok to feel lonely, it is normal . . .when it begins to bring you into total darkness though it is important to reach out for help.
  • Get out and be active-Being active can give you a healthy dose of endorphins which is a natural mood booster and can help to bring you out of the funk.
  • Plan one outing or something to do each day-it can be as simple as going out to get ingredients and then going home and baking cookies.
  • Write in a journal-Write down all of the things that you are grateful for by creating a list of gratitude. Writing can be cathartic and can help you to release any feelings that you are having.
  • Arrange to see friends-Good friends will help you by acknowledging the feelings that you are having but they will also remind you that they are there for you and that you are not really alone even though it can feel like that.
  • Volunteer-Getting out to help others who are in need can help to lift you out of your funk.
  • Spend time with your pet-Pets can help boost your mood because they provide unconditional love.
  • Check-in with your therapist-Cognitive behavioral therapy can help you with your inner dialogue and self-talk.

During this Thanksgiving break I plan to spend Thanksgiving at a Friendsgiving surrounded by friends. I am planning to spend time walking my dog. I have plans to go for some runs and am trying to arrange running with friends so it doesn’t have to be alone. I am continuing with regular visits to my therapist to address the feelings of loneliness that tend to wash over me in waves.

Thanks for joining me on my journey friends. And wishing you all love and happiness this Thanksgiving.

What do you do when you get lonely to address the feelings?

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17 responses

17 responses

  1. Sending you so much love my friend. When my boys were younger, their dad worked a lot (and slept a lot) and my family was 1,000 miles away. I remembered sitting on the couch on Thanksgiving looking out the window at all of my neighbors and the cars in their driveway, and felt an insane sense of loneliness. It’s really hard. I found over the years though, that coming up with my own traditions and things I enjoyed doing on that day – even when by myself – definitely helped. I’m thinking of you this holiday season. And as a mom who also shares custody (and only has my kids every other holiday), I’m here as a listening ear if you ever need me. <3
    Heather Hart recently posted…Ultramarathons, Immune Systems, and Why you Get Sick After RacesMy Profile

    1. Thank you so much Heather for taking the time to write to me. It is so helpful to hear how others cope with the difficulty of loneliness. I know you can definitely relate. And I appreciate the offer of a listening ear. You are a good friend! Sending you the biggest hugs this holiday season and best wishes for lots of fun running!

  2. I’ve been there with the holidays with out kids. Very Hard. It looks like you are doing a good job of facing the situation head on. Friends are like family only we get to pick them specifically! Stay busy and pamper yourself with a bubble bath and wine! The holidays can be very trying with our emotions. I for one am always relieved when Jan 1st gets here. Prayers for you. ❤

    1. That is such a great movie. I will definitely have to watch it! And closet cleaning can be so cathartic. Thanks for the open invite! I’ll actually be in DC this summer for a week while Piper goes to a Jr. Leadership program so it would be great to see you! Sending you love this holiday!

  3. I know this feeling! ‍♂️‍♂️ Still creeps in when kiddos are gone like they are this Thanksgiving. 11 days without them. Sending love.

  4. I wish we had some Empower Campfire time together on Thanksgiving : )
    I’m sorry you’ll be without your kids but I’m glad you’ll have friends around you and know that your virtual ones are thinking of you too.

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