In the wake of a divorce come waves.
For me one of these big waves was closing a big chapter of my life when I sold the house that my ex and I had lived in. This was supposed to be our forever home. We had bought an old farmhouse which we took down to the bones and renovated into a dream house. In a tiny town, just a tiny dot on the map this was a home and not just a house. This is where I brought my babies home. This was a a house full of laughter and love. But things change.
We decided to move a few years ago because of life circumstances so we uprooted and began a new life elsewhere. In the midst of all of these changes somewhere along the line we decided to part ways. And now I am in the midst of the waves. I am trying to catch a wave out of this emotional turmoil. And with that comes the process of letting go.
But the farmhouse was still mine. It was hard to let go. How do you let go of something that is supposed to be forever, of something that once “sparked joy?”
#KonMari Method. Does it Spark Joy? Giving things away in the wake of #divorceTweet
A year passed and it became clear that it was time to let go of the house. It was no longer a home. But along with letting go we have to endure the emotions that come with letting go. Our brains are filled with emotional stores that hold our memories and selling the house meant that I would have to face these memories head on.
Closing this chapter is a big one for me. A relief in some ways as it is a big step towards moving on into my new future but also painful because I have to face letting go. We joke that it’s time to Marie Kondo my life with the KonMari method. There are some things to keep, some to pass on, and some to get rid of. A hard process but in the end emotionally freeing.
Thankfully with the farmhouse I was able to “pass it on” to my ex’s family (still family to me). They can enjoy it and it will still be there in the future for my kids. Inside of the house were the things from our past. I have spent a few days sorting through the things inside of the house. It has made me weepy, the kind where you get a bit of an aching sad feeling in your stomach. What I am keeping are the memories of being in that home. Yes, I am keeping some of the stuff that was inside . . .paintings painted by my mom and some other things . . . but much of what was there I am getting rid of or passing on for others to enjoy as for me it no longer serves me a purpose and no longer brings me the happiness that it once did. I am keeping what speaks to my heart and what will serve me a purpose in this next great chapter of my life.
In all truth this process has been very hard but also I know that the clouds of divorce are lifting off of me. It is getting easier to let go and to move on.