KonMari Method. Does it spark joy?
In the wake of a divorce come waves.
For me one of these big waves was closing a big chapter of my life when I sold the house that my ex and I had lived in. This was supposed to be our forever home. We had bought an old farmhouse which we took down to the bones and renovated into a dream house. In a tiny town, just a tiny dot on the map this was a home and not just a house. This is where I brought my babies home. This was a a house full of laughter and love. But things change.
We decided to move a few years ago because of life circumstances so we uprooted and began a new life elsewhere. In the midst of all of these changes somewhere along the line we decided to part ways. And now I am in the midst of the waves. I am trying to catch a wave out of this emotional turmoil. And with that comes the process of letting go.
But the farmhouse was still mine. It was hard to let go. How do you let go of something that is supposed to be forever, of something that once “sparked joy?”
#KonMari Method. Does it Spark Joy? Giving things away in the wake of #divorce
Tweet
A year passed and it became clear that it was time to let go of the house. It was no longer a home. But along with letting go we have to endure the emotions that come with letting go. Our brains are filled with emotional stores that hold our memories and selling the house meant that I would have to face these memories head on.
Closing this chapter is a big one for me. A relief in some ways as it is a big step towards moving on into my new future but also painful because I have to face letting go. We joke that it’s time to Marie Kondo my life with the KonMari method. There are some things to keep, some to pass on, and some to get rid of. A hard process but in the end emotionally freeing.
Thankfully with the farmhouse I was able to “pass it on” to my ex’s family (still family to me). They can enjoy it and it will still be there in the future for my kids. Inside of the house were the things from our past. I have spent a few days sorting through the things inside of the house. It has made me weepy, the kind where you get a bit of an aching sad feeling in your stomach. What I am keeping are the memories of being in that home. Yes, I am keeping some of the stuff that was inside . . .paintings painted by my mom and some other things . . . but much of what was there I am getting rid of or passing on for others to enjoy as for me it no longer serves me a purpose and no longer brings me the happiness that it once did. I am keeping what speaks to my heart and what will serve me a purpose in this next great chapter of my life.
In all truth this process has been very hard but also I know that the clouds of divorce are lifting off of me. It is getting easier to let go and to move on.
When was the last time you had to give up something really big in your life?
11 responses
Comments are closed.
I love Marie Kondo! I’m glad that you were able to let go of some things and that it’s helped you to move on. Thank you so much for sharing something so intimate with us!
When we decided to move back to Iowa (2002), we had to let go of our home (of seven years) in Michigan. It was a major fixer-upper, and we’d spent the greater part of those seven years making it ours. A couple years ago, it was back on the market, so I was able to “peek in” and see a virtual tour of it, via the realtor (thanks to a tip from one of my Michigan friends LOL). The out-going owners (who had bought it from us) had taken great care of it, and had not modified much of the decor. At last I was able to (somewhat) let go of it….but I do still have dreams of it.
I can imagine letting go of the house was very hard but as you say, also good for you. Your kids will still be able to go there for memories and you can start to create new ones. xoxo
Deborah Brooks recently posted…Favorite Summer Cross Training Activities
That must have been a very difficult time for you. Thank you for sharing this with us. I’ve been divorced for many years but adjusting to a new life is definitely always a work in progress. I think you are doing quite well handling all of the changes!
Kim G recently posted…Tuesday Topics: What New Running Products Have You Tried This Year?
We are original owners of our home of 26 years. We moved in the weekend my eldest son turned 1 and have raised all 3 of our kids here. I can’t imagine the emotions of having to leave. So many memories. At least it is staying in the family and your kids can continue their connection.
The Accidental Marathoner recently posted…Product Review: Science in Sport (SiS) Energy Gels
It’s nice that in passing it on your ex’s family your kids will still have a connection with the house.
Michelle @ Running with Attitude recently posted…Chicago Marathon Training Week 2
I do enjoy a good clean sesh. I’m sorry to hear why you have to do yours, but I’m sure you are going to come out of the other side.
Wow, this is pretty powerful. I’m so glad the farmhouse can stay in your family! And sorry for this hard time. Also, I read this book a few years ago and totally changed the way I get and keep stuff. Love it.
Ashley @ A Lady Goes West recently posted…Current faves: Home sweet home, shopping, books, food and weekly workouts
Letting go is hard, but it can be freeing. I hve an easy time parting with some things than others. I think it’s neat that your ex’s family is taking the house.
Coco recently posted…Bastille Day Run Down
I feel for you; I can only imagine how hard this has been. Last year I gave up my job, our house, and our friends in Colorado to take a new job in Washington. We all uprooted and, while it made sense for a lot of reasons (and was a conscious choice we made), it has been hard and has not necessarily sparked joy. I’m still longing for the familiar (the house, the neighborhood, the friends). Mostly, I miss feeling like I belong somewhere. I know I’ll feel that way again, but it’s a process and it’s going to take a lot more time. So I guess here’s to the process: Konmari or otherwise.
Laura recently posted…First Washington Hike: Kendall Katwalk
Thank you for your kind comments Laura. Uprooting is hard and it definitely takes time to find your community. I definitely miss feeling like I belong too. Yes, here’s to the process! We will get through!!